Awright me ol’ muckers, it’s yer ol’ pal ‘Eadnokka ere wiv an update on da goin’s on in da Mortal Realms. More spefica… spe… spes… mostly abowt our ongoin campaign in Cratonia between all da Grand Alliances.

For dose who need catchin’ up, av’ a gander ‘ere.

It’s been a week of in game campaignin’ in Cratonia an so far, dere’s been four big bust ups. Da spikey Chaos ladz seem to be havin’ a great laugh wiv every battle they’ve had so far goin’ dere way. Dat Raybear bloke ‘as had no less dan three bust ups all in da space of a week! In fact, der ‘avin so much fun, two of dese mad ladz ‘ave started sendin’ sticks between ’em. I don’t get it pershunnally, but each to der own.

Da Order wankers, ‘av suffered a few losses, but den what do you expect from a load of stoopid aelves and dino boyz who’ve got no meat on dere bones?!

Da Dead dudes seem to be wanderin’ all ovva da place lookin’ for fights and den losing da ones dey do pick. At da moment two deadie armies are fightin’ against a load of dose mad corn demon things. While another dead dude is running from some dino dude, and the last dead dude is trying to fight sum trees an those fishy elves….

My boyz in destruction, dey dun gud dis week. Dey stomped on sum of dem Order wankers gud and proper. But some of me ol’ Ironjawz mates got stuck in sum city wiv Order Wankers and Chaos spikey dudes outside. Da Ironjawz did fink dey were dead clever by buildin’ sum extra defences, trouble woz, when the turd ‘it the fan, da Chaos dudes started fightin’ da Order Wankers an’ me ol’ muckers in da city couldn’t get out cos dey only gone an’ accidentally built a wall across da door. Da Ironjawz fellaz were dere for hours tryin’ to knock da door down to get out. Dey were hammerin’ away at it wiv de grots dey were locked up wiv. I mean akshually usin’ da grots to hammer da door. Wen dat didn’t work dey tried frowin’ sum from da walls. Wen dey did get out all da fightin’ woz over and da Nurgle rotty boyz were ready for ’em.

So wotz next ‘Eadnokka I ere’ youse ask?

Well, dere’s still um fightin’ ta go between da Order wankers and da dead boyz, and sum between da dead boyz and the Chaos spikey ladz. Once dat’s over we’ll get to sum more campaignin’!